This blogger has been otherwise engaged

I’ve had a couple of weeks’ break from my blog because of teaching break, during which my routine (including blog time) went out the window! The loss of routine was aided by the fact that I became engaged just before the break! So I became otherwise engaged ;) calling relatives and friends to tell them the news and arranging a celebration at short notice to coincide with a planned visit from the parents of my betrothed from the Netherlands. Oh, and there were the seemingly endless piles of marking to do…

 

 A couple of interesting language tidbits have come to my attention through this new experience of being engaged. One is that the distinction between fiancé and fiancée seems to have dropped out of recognition. The former is the term I should use for my betrothed (as the man) and the latter is the one he should use to refer to me. I had to check this out myself to see which was which. I think most people I know only ever say it, not write it, so it doesn’t make too much difference by the time we’ve done the time-honoured Aussie thing of butchering the French pronunciation!

The other interesting thing is the generational change in the custom for expressing congratulations when someone announces their engagement. These days, most people say ‘congratulations’ to both groom-to-be and bride-to-be. But apparently, in generations past, the ‘proper’ way to acknowledge the engagement was to congratulate the man and give your best wishes to the woman. After all, the man has just scored a top-notch chick and the woman, well, she’s got her work cut out for her (see Proverbs 31:10-31)! Well, actually, we both feel very thankful to have each other and from all accounts we'll both have our work cut out for us, so we'll keep praying and putting in the effort.

Does language matter to God?

As for man, his days are like grass; he flourishes like a flower of the field;
for the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its place knows it no more.
But the steadfast love of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him, and his righteousness to children's children,
to those who keep his covenant and remember to do his commandments.
The LORD has established his throne in the heavens, and his kingdom rules over all. (Psalm 103:15-19)

Thus says the Psalmist. In this and other places, the Bible reminds us that we as humans are very short-lived. Although 80 years feel like a lot to us, they are but a moment compared with the eternal existence of God. And yet we matter to God, because we are his image bearers. I always find that quite humbling.

But even more fleeting than humans are the things we say. Our words come out of our mouths in a pattern of soundwaves, and then they are gone in an instant. Of course, we can now record them in writing or sound and the memory of them will last a bit longer, but in themselves they do not last.

But despite its extremely short period of existence, our language - what we say, not what language we speak - matters to God. The book of Proverbs is full of bits of wisdom about how we speak. Here are a few of them:

There are six things that the LORD hates, seven that are an abomination to him:
haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil,
a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers. (Proverbs 6:16-19)

The fear of the LORD is hatred of evil. Pride and arrogance and the way of evil and perverted speech I hate. (Prov 8:13)

The tongue of the righteous is choice silver; the heart of the wicked is of little worth. The lips of the righteous feed many, but fools die for lack of sense. (Proverbs 10:20-21)

The mouth of the righteous brings forth wisdom, but the perverse tongue will be cut off.
The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable, but the mouth of the wicked, what is perverse. (Proverbs 10:31-32)

Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue is but for a moment. (Proverbs 12:19)

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. (Prov 18:21)

She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. (Prov 31:26)

Likewise, James devotes a significant amount of space in his letter (James 3:1-12) to teaching about the effects of what we say and how to make sure we love others and glorify God with our language.

And for me as a linguist, I think it's more than just the words we choose consciously, but the patterns of meanings that we 'mean', without consciously being able to choose them. Jesus rebuked the Pharisees saying:

You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. (Matthew 12:34)

Because we are all sinful at heart (Romans 3:23) it is likely that our patterns of meaning will display our sinfulness, a lack of love for others and a lack of trust in God, even if the words we consciously or habitually choose seem good.